Pineapple-as-a-Service

No one wants a pineapple that’s gone bad.

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How do we ensure customers are getting a good pineapple, and how do we handle it if they’re not…

All systems (mostly) operational

All systems operational. For now.

This is the Ripeness service’s public status page. Keep scrolling: the numbers move as the incident unfolds, and lost uptime never comes back.

Status Draft

INC-001: Degraded performance on Ripeness API

Service
Pineapple-as-a-Service
Date
14 September 2026
Severity
SEV-2
Authors
The on-call human, the incident commander

1. The promise

Before anything went wrong, we wrote down what “good” means. The Ripeness API should give correct readings for of minutes over any 90 days. The rest is the error budget: the unreliability we can afford.

SLOs and their purpose →

2. Service status

Ripeness is only up when every component on the status page above is up, so its availability is the product of theirs. That page is still following you down this one.

Over the last 90 days, Ripeness is at against a target of , .

How to run a status page →

3. Incident communications

Impact began at 08:40 UTC. The alert that should have caught it did not exist, so a customer found it first. Below is the page that never came, then the updates we posted, in order.

    How to run an incident →

    4. Postmortem

    How to write a postmortem →

    5. What good looks like

    Pineapple: “Pineapple Scan” by Franco Pizzani, CC BY 4.0, compressed for the web.